Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Your Legacy Begins When your Story Ends







Today, as I remember my mother on her birthday, I am compelled to share this story. A story of my ancestry; a story about women who stand up for other women; a story about pure grit; a story of my existence; and a story that explains where my mother got her drive, her relentless and persistent nature and her never-say-die attitude.

I had heard my mother speak in jest about her father, my maternal grandfather (my naana-ji), who’d always mention to my grandmother (my naani), “If you had not given me a son as my first born, I would have left you just like your father left your mother. I am a Rajput, and it is my right to leave my wife if she didn’t give me a son as a first-born.”

I knew my great grandmother (we would call her pad-naani) and have very fond memories of her. She was a lean, tall and strong boned woman with high cheek bones, a gorgeously brown complexion and deep, pressing eyes. She lived alone, fiercely independent, in a little village till the day she died in 1981. I was 6 years old when she died but I distinctly remember her and her nice little shop that she ran from the window of her home in the village. She’d sell knick-knacks to all the little children in the village; most of whom never paid for what they “bought”.

As a child, I didn’t pay much attention to my grandfather’s statement, and years became decades till quite suddenly my mother passed away in June of 2020. As I went through the process of grieving, even before I could come to terms with this vacuum left behind by her absence, within 10 months, my father passed away from a brain stroke that he suffered from, on mummy’s birthday last year in 2021.

My desire to connect with who my parents were and where they came from increased insatiably. This led me to a long conversation one day with my mother’s younger sister, my aunt. My grandfather’s sentence from eons ago popped up in my head and I questioned her about it. What I found out was a gem, a true jewel in my ancestry.

My maternal grandmother, Krishna Bai, was the first born, and obviously being a girl, her father (my great grandfather) rightfully as a “Rajput” left his wife (my great grandmother, Dharma Bai) the very day my grandmother was born. The year was 1931. 3 days after childbirth, Dharma Bai passed away. My grandmother was left alone in the world, in a society that didn’t much care for girl children.

That is when a great miracle of a lady, Dharma Bai’s sister, took it upon herself to become a single mother, in 1931! Her name was Heera Bai, the only woman I knew as my great grandmother. She went against the entire family and the society, and even left her husband who didn’t support her on this. Heera Bai, true to her name (which means diamond) dedicates her life to bringing up this 3-day old little girl. She went on to nurture and nourish all my 4 aunts when, ironically, she noticed that my grandmother didn’t want to take care of any of her daughters. My mother resisted going to live with Heera Bai because she was very fond of her dad, my grandfather.

Heera Bai’s action to stand up and protect a woman gave rise to 3 generations in our family and countless positive impacts on society!

This is change;
This is who I am;
This defines me;
This explains to me
Who my mother was.
Heera Bai is the reason
My grandmother survived;
The reason my mother came into existence;
The reason, today I exist.

No one in our family remembers the name of the great man who left his wife and then never came back for his little girl when his wife died 3 days later. But today, by sharing this I am hoping to immortalize the name of this jewel in my family, Heera Bai.

This has helped me understand a lot of things. Here are 3:

  1. The best version of yourself is in you, you just have to dig a little deeper.
  2. Your actions have an impact far beyond you.
  3. Your legacy begins when your story ends.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Bushaka Loves Mangoes!

You all know Bushaka, the little lion cub with adventure in his heart and a shine in his lovely big eyes! This is a story of how Bushaka met Sundari, the Bandari. Since it was a bright and sunny day, Bushaka thought it would be fun to go on a picnic with his beshtesht lion friends Shimbuka and Kashimbu.

They each got something to add to the picnic. Bushaka brought along his favourite juicy mangoes, Shimbuka's father made delicious dosa rolls, Kashimbu's aunt packed two jars full of Kokum juice. The three of them, with tiny little picnic baskets in hand headed off to a mountain with tall grass laid out like a really, really thick carpet. Being lions, they loved to hide themselves in the grass.

They had a big colourful bouncy ball which was red, blue and yellow! They played the "Jump over the right colour" and the "Bounce with the ball" games for hours together. After a while they were all thirsty so went to the spot under a Peepal tree where their two jars of juice and all other yummy goodies were kept in the shade. 

Bushaka gulped down two glasses of juice and suddenly realised that his basket with the juicy mangoes were nowhere to be seen. "Kashimbu, Shimbuka, where are the mangoes? It's not here!" he cried.

His friends came over to him and said that they can all look for it and asked Bushaka to "Please stop crying."

"But... they... are... my favourite..." he said between sobs and the tears left tyre like marks on his cheeks through all the dirt from all that playing they did.

Both Kashimbu and Shimbuka hugged him and Kashimbu said "Don't cry Bushaka, it will be here somewhere. You sit down here and we'll look for it."

Bushaka sat down and tried hard not to feel like his heart was heavy, tried hard to stop crying. His friends were jumping around all over the place looking for the missing picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it.

"Tee... heee... heee... heee..." a sound came from high up on the Peepal tree. Bushaka looked up and what did he see??

Why? A little monkey sat on a branch and was laughing at Bushaka's friends who were jumping around looking for the missing picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it.

What do monkeys do on trees? Let me see if you can show me...

"Hey you! Up there! Why are you laughing at my friends?" asked Bushaka.

"Tee.. heee... heee... heee... you cry baby!" replied the little monkey.

"I lost my mangoes a while ago and was feeling sad. That's why I was crying. My name is Bushaka, not cry baby. You can call me by my name if you want to talk to me. What's your name?" said Bushaka feeling all strong and ready to stand up for himself.

"Mangoes? Yummydelicious! They are my favourite too! Now I know how you felt and why you were crying. But your friends do look quite funny from up here, jumping around like that!" came the monkey's reply.

"Well, they are searching for the missing mangoes. You still didn't tell me what your name is." said Bushaka, getting up and dusting himself off and wiping the tears off his face!

The monkey came down to a lower branch and whispered, "I will tell you my name but promise me you won't make fun of it? A lot of others who are not in my family always laugh and make fun of my name..."

"I promise!"

"My name is Sundari, the Bandari." she replied.

"That is such a lovely rhyming name. Can we be friends, Sundari, the Bandari?" asked Bushaka.

"Why, thank you. I think so too. And off course we can be friends. To prove it, let me climb up to the highest branch on this tree and look for your mangoes." and off she went climbing up swiftly swinging from one branch to the other as she went higher and higher.

"It's a little picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it!" shouted Bushaka so she could hear him.

He heard Sundari, the Bandari's voice like it was coming from so far away, "I can see your missing picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it!!"

And then she yelled out some directions like, go left, move right, keep going straight, jump over the rock and some more confusing directions. Bushaka shouted out the directions to Shimbuka and Kashimbu till they found the missing picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it with some mangoes fallen out of it.

They brought it under the Peepal tree and all four of them attacked the mangoes and ate them all up in no time, because by now, Sundari, the Bandari had become their friend too, you see. By the end of it, all of them had mango pulp all around their mouth and Bushaka had some over his nose and ears too!!

And so, it was that Bushaka met Sundari, the Bandari who could climb the highest of the highest branch on any tree and had very sharp eyesight that could spot the missing picnic basket with juicy mangoes in it!

Sundari, the Bandari became such good friends with Bushaka and his friends that she even goes for an adventure to India with him... But that story is for another time!

P.S:
Bushaka was born in 2007 as a playful little lion cub with adventure in his eyes and an attitude to make new friends and create fun games all the time. He was born to make my daughter's (Vedha, then 5yrs old) life a little more exciting than it already was. :)
A couple of Bushaka's friends, besides the new friend Sundari, the bandari introduced in this story, are Moshu, the cat and Kakaraku, the frog.
Bushaka's early year stories are written as a read-aloud story for little kids.


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Bushaka Learns the Kakaraku Hop Game

One day Bushaka, the lion wanted to play something different, a new game, may be even make a new friend. He went to his lion friends Shimbuka and Kashimbu and told them, "Let's go for a walk in the jungle. We'll make some new friends and play some new games."

Shimbuka and Kashimbu said "roar... roar... that's a good idea, let's go!" They knew that Bushaka was always great at finding new things to do and they were so very excited.

So off they went, for a walk in the jungle. They ran a little, walked a little and looked around for other animals to play with. Finally they saw a frog.

Can you show me how frogs move?

This little frog went... Hop! Hop! Hop!

Bushaka said "Hellloooo! We want to play with you... can we play with you please?"

"Croaak" said the frog.

"I am Bushaka and these are my friends Shimbuka and Kashimbu. What's your name?" Bushaka asked the little frog.

"Croaak" replied the frog.

Kashimbu and Shimbuka burst out laughing "roar... roar... ha ha ha... his name is croaak."

What sound do frogs make?

The frog looked at Bushaka and said "My name is Kakaraku. I'll play with you if you ask your friends to stop laughing at me just because they don't understand the Croaking language."

"OK. I'm sorry." said Bushaka and told both Shimbuka and Kashimbu to stop laughing at Kakaraku.

"So, what game are we playing?" asked Kashimbu all excited.

Kakaraku replied "Here goes... I will hop thrice and the three of you try to catch me."
"But... if I land on a leaf or a branch by the third hop then whoever is trying to catch me is out."

Bushaka jumped up and down saying "That's an interesting game!"

"There's one more thing..." said Kakaraku, "you have to catch me in three hops and if I don't reach a leaf or a branch in three hops then I am out."

So they started playing. Kakaraku counted "1...2...3..." and off they ran behind Kakaraku as he leaped into the air... Hop!!

Shimbuka almost caught him and Kakaraku went HOP for the second time away from Shimbuka even before he knew what was happening. As Shimbuka tried to pounce on Kakaraku for the second time, Kakaraku went HOP and landed on a big leaf.

"Yay!" shouted Kakaraku, "Shimbuka is out! Shimbuka is out!"

Then there was only Bushaka and Kashimbu. So once again Kakaraku said "1...2...3..." and off they ran to catch Kakaraku. HOP! and Kakaraku escaped from right under Kashimbu's nose as he tried to catch him. The second time Kakaraku went Hop! Kashimbu pounced and lost balance falling down with his face landing in the mud and dust... Kashimbu's face was all brown and all you could see were his big eyes trying to search for the fast little Kakaraku. The moment he realised that he was close to Kakaraku, HOP! went Kakaraku the third time high up in the air and landed on a branch.

"Yay! Yay!" shouted Kakaraku once again, "Kashimbu is out! Kashimbu is out!"

Kashimbu stood there looking all confused and dusty. Shimbuka was rolling and laughing "roar... roar... ha ha ha" looking at Kashimbu.

Both of them stood under a tree and watched with full interest as Kakaraku and Bushaka continued the game.

"1...2...3..." and off ran Bushaka to catch Kakaraku. Kakaraku jumped high Hop! and Bushaka missed catching him. Then Hop! went Kakaraku for the second time, this time to the left of Bushaka. Bushaka almost caught his own tail!

Finally, for the third time Kakaraku took a deep breath "CROAK!" and jumped Hop! just as Bushaka pounced on him but Bushaka missed him once again. And Kakaraku was high in the air... and landed plop! On the ground and not a leaf or a branch.

So, Bushaka ended up winning the game and luckily Kakaraku hadn't got hurt too. Because, you do know that lions are so much bigger than Kakraku that he could have gotten hurt if any of them had pounced right on to him?

"Phew!" said Kakaraku, "nice to meet all three of you. I have taught you a new game but I have to go home now. Next time may be I will teach you the croaking language so you can understand my language."

They all said bye... bye... and Kakaraku went back home.

Bushaka made a new friend and also went back home with Kashimbu and Shimbuka. The three of them taught all their friends the new game and had lots of fun. Off course none of them could really go HOP! like little Kakaraku but they somehow managed to play the new 'Kakaraku Hop Game."

Can you show me how high you can jump?

Bushaka, Kashimbu and Shimbuka became experts at it because after all they learnt it from the expert hopper, Kakaraku himself!

P.S:
Bushaka was born in 2007 as a playful little lion cub with adventure in his eyes and an attitude to make new friends and create fun games all the time. He was born to make my daughter's (Vedha, then 5yrs old) life a little more exciting than it already was. :)
A couple of Bushaka's friends, besides the new friend Kakaraku, the frog introduced in this story, are Moshu, the cat and Sundari, the bandari (monkey).
Bushaka's early year stories are written as a read-aloud story for little kids.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Bushaka, The Lion

Bushaka, the lion was sad. He had forgotten how to roar. 
How do lions roar?

He walked alone through the jungle with big sad eyes. A wild cat, Moshuu, was playing with a hard round fruit, in fact, it was a Wood Apple! She looked at Bushaka and said "Meaaaow... meaaaow... what happened? Why are you so sad?" meaaaow... meaaaow..."

Do you know how to meow like a cat?

Bushaka replied, "I've forgotten how to roar. All my friends are laughing at me. sniff... sniff" and cried. Moshuu said, "Ah! Come let's play together and I can teach you to meow like me... meaaaow... meaaaow..."

Bushaka was happy and played for a long, long time with Moshuu and learnt how to meow by the evening. Then he went home and stood in front of all his friends and said very sweetly "meaaaow... meaaaow..."

But hearing him, everyone was roaring with laughter.

ROAR! HA HA HA... ROAR! HA HA HA...

Bushaka ran away, feeling sad.  His mama saw him running and went after him "Bushaka, stop! What happened? What's the matter, tell me..."

Bushaka cried (tears down his cheeks and gookie down his nose, which his mama wiped away) and he said "Mama, all my friends are laughing at me..." sob sob he continued, "because I have forgotten how to roar... but... but I met a new friend today, Moshuu and she taught me how to meow"

"When I showed my friends that I can meow, they all started roaring and laughing at me. waaa..."

"Oh wow! You know how meow like a cat?" said his mama, "Will you get your friend to teach me how to meow too? We'll go tomorrow to meet your friend and you both can teach me how to meow."

The next morning, Bushaka took his mama to Moshuu and his mama also learnt to meow and purr too. She sounded so beautiful!

Bushaka and Moshuu had another fun filled day playing Opposite-To-Me and a whole load of fun games. His mama had packed a nice little lunch for them which they had sitting on a swinging branch of a BIG tree. What fun they had!

When they went back home in the evening, his mama taught all the big lions and lionesses to meow and purr and the next few days all the elders in their pride went about meowing and purring sweetly for a change instead of roaring loudly.

All of Bushaka's friends came running to him and begged him to teach them to meow like the big lions and lionesses. Bushaka took them to Moshuu and by the evening all of them were meowing and purring happily. They too became friends with the lovable and playful little Moshuu and her friends.

And so Bushaka taught all his friends a new thing and was happy with all his old friends and new.

P.S:
Bushaka was born in 2007 as a playful little lion cub with adventure in his eyes and an attitude to make new friends and create fun games all the time. He was born to make my daughter's (Vedha, then 5yrs old) life a little more exciting than it already was. :)
A couple of Bushaka's friends, besides the new friend Moshuu introduced in this story, are Shimbuka, Kashimbu and Kakaraku, the frog.
Bushaka's early year stories are written as a read-aloud story for little kids.